THE DECADE IN NUMBERS
| Seasons / games / points | 9 · 801 · 180,355.6 |
| Different champions in nine years | 6 |
| League avg: 2017 / 2018–2022 / 2023–2025 | 92.41 → 109.89 → 127.16 — +37.6% |
| Highest week ever | Roscoe, 220.48 (2024 wk15, semifinal) |
| Lowest real week ever | Spencer, 38.94 (2018 wk15) |
| Biggest blowout / closest game | 139.26 (2023 wk13) / 0.08 (2022 wk14) |
| Points left on benches since 2018 | 21,355.5 — 13 wasted per 100 scored |
| League-wide lineup efficiency | 88.4% · perfect lineups 123 of 1,410 weeks |
| Losses an optimal lineup would have won | 236 |
| Times McCaffrey has gone 1.01 here | 4. Titles won by a 1.01 pick: 0 |
| Trade proposals in the log | 532 — 341 of them (64%) by one man |
| Titles | Corey 3 · Alex 2 · Chase, Roscoe, Spencer, Hank 1 each |
| The lowest seed in the field has won | four of nine championships. The top seed has won three. |
HOW TO READ THIS
| Term | What it means |
|---|---|
| FAAB | $100 a season, bid to claim free agents. |
| Optimal lineup | The best score your roster could have made. |
| Lineup efficiency | Points started ÷ optimal. |
| Points left on the bench | Optimal minus what you scored. |
| PF / PA | Points for (scored) / points against (allowed). |
| The 1.01 | The first pick of the draft. |
| The wire | The unowned players. |
| All-play record | Your record if you played everyone every week. |
| Superflex | A flex slot that can also start a quarterback. |
THE TEN
The ten managers returning for 2026, by career regular-season winning percentage.
The Ten · No. 1 of 10
1COREY ALLENTHE HOUSE
Three titles under three league names, four years apart each time — and a ninth-place finish. 678 career adds to the next-busiest manager's 259, and 341 trade proposals to everyone else's 191.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 12-2 (2023), best record ever | 4-10 (2022) |
| Lineup year | 90.8% (2024) | 81.36% (2022), worst ever |
| Draft pick | McCaffrey, R1.7, 385.8 | Courtland Sutton, R5.51 — WR22 to WR64, 8.1 |
| Head-to-head | 13-5 over Spencer Jones | 5-10 vs. Alex Smith |
The Ten · No. 2 of 10
2CHASE CARMICHAELTHE MECHANIC
Sat out 2018, came back in 2019, took the one-seed and won the whole thing. Since then: the best lineups of any active manager, 90.5%, 13.12 points left a week, and 5-5 in the playoffs.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 2,063.1 pts, 10-4 (2024) | 6-8 (2023), only losing year since 2017 |
| Lineup year | 92.8% (2020) | 85.1% (2023) |
| Draft pick | Jamaal Williams, R15.148 — RB46 to RB11 | Julio Jones, R2.15 — WR3 to WR34 |
| Head-to-head | 9-1 over Roscoe Goss, most lopsided ever | 0-2 vs. Corey Allen in championship games |
The Ten · No. 3 of 10
3ALEX SMITHTHE MARGIN
Two championships, combined winning margin 2.52 points — the two closest title games ever played. The mechanism is boring and lethal: in 128 weeks he has lost only 10 games his optimal lineup would have won, fewest ever. Roscoe has 30.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 10-3, title (2020) | 5-9, tenth of ten (2023) |
| Lineup year | 93.3% (2018) | 86.6% (2021) |
| Draft pick | Lamar Jackson, R10.116, 415.7 | Antonio Brown, R2.20 — WR8 to WR54, 14.1 |
| Single week | 183.18, 2024 championship | 40.40 (2023 wk13), largest defeat ever |
The Ten · No. 4 of 10
4HAMILTON EUBANKSTHE BEST TEAM NEVER TO WIN ONE
Three playoff berths in nine years, explained: 2,257.9 points left unplayed, 17.64 a week. He hits 12% in rounds 1–3 and 71% in rounds 8–10 — he builds every roster out of the back half of the draft because the front half keeps exploding in his hands.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 11-3, runner-up (2023) | 3-11 (2021), 1,750.7 PA — worst schedule ever |
| Lineup year | 88.9% (2018) | 84.7% (2021) |
| Draft pick | Justin Jefferson, R11.122 — WR53 to WR7 | Saquon Barkley, No. 2 overall (2020) — 12.4 |
| Head-to-head | 9-4 over Garrett Phelps | 5-8 vs. Spencer Jones |
The Ten · No. 5 of 10
5PATRICK NECESSARYTHE ISLAND
Eight seasons and two trade proposals in the entire log, both sent one night in November 2018, twenty-three minutes apart. The second became a trade, one of two he has ever completed.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 11-3, third seed (2023) | 5-9 (2022) |
| Lineup year | 92.2% (2018) | 87.8% (2024) |
| Draft pick | Jalen Hurts, R7.64, 369.6 | Nick Chubb, R2.14 — RB6 to RB39, 26.1 |
| Head-to-head | 12-3 over JJ Kerksieck | 2-8 vs. Corey Allen |
The Ten · No. 6 of 10
6STEVEN SPAULDINGTHE PERFECTIONIST
There at the start, one-seed in the inaugural season, and he has never held the trophy. He drafted Patrick Mahomes at pick 158 in 2018 and traded him in week 3 for Tom Brady. In 2023 he absorbed 1,958.3 points, the most any team here has ever allowed.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 10-4, one-seed (2017) | 2-12 (2023), most points allowed ever |
| Lineup year | 94.79% (2025), best ever | 81.79% (2023), second-worst ever |
| Draft pick | Patrick Mahomes, R14.158, 371.5 | Michael Thomas, No. 7 overall — WR1 to WR48 |
| Premium picks | 42% in rounds 1–3, best in the league | 38% in rounds 4–7 |
The Ten · No. 7 of 10
7GARRETT PHELPSTHE OPERATING RANGE
The most efficient championship-game lineup in league history, 2018: 102.98 against a 103.08 optimal, 0.10 unplayed. He also owns four of the fifteen worst weeks ever, and the eleventh-highest week ever. Since his 2021 one-seed his efficiency has fallen every year: 92.3, 90.3, 88.7, 87.7, 82.8.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 10-4, No. 1 seed (2021) | 4-10 (2024) |
| Lineup year | 92.3% (2021) | 82.8% (2025), 407 benched |
| Draft pick | George Pickens, R7.68 — WR33 to WR4 | McCaffrey 1.01 (2024), 47.8; Nabers 1.08 (2025), 60.1 |
| Under 3 points | owns the 68.66-point bench record — and won that game | 1-7 all-time in games decided by under three |
The Ten · No. 8 of 10
8ROSCOE GOSSTHE VOLCANO
The only .500 champion in league history and the lowest seed ever to win it: 7-7, six of six, differential +2.8. No asterisk — he got in and was the best team alive for three weeks. He has also benched 2,382.8 points, more than anyone ever.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 9-5, runner-up (2024) | 2-11 (2020), opened 0-9 |
| Lineup year | 90.0% (2021) | 82.3% (2023) — 421.8 benched, most ever |
| Draft pick | Raheem Mostert, R11.103 — RB36 to RB2 | Devonta Freeman, R2.15 — 11.6 |
| Transactions | 128 waiver claims won, most in the league | 150 failed transactions. Next-highest is 65. |
The Ten · No. 9 of 10
9SPENCER JONESTHE ONE GOOD DECEMBER
Nine seasons, two winning records, five finishes of tenth or worse, and the lowest career winning percentage of anyone here with a ring. 145 adds in eight seasons, fewest of any nine-year manager.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 9-5, champion (2023), led league at 1,959.4 | 3-11 (2022) |
| Lineup year | 90.8% (2018) | 84.6% (2025) |
| Draft pick | Josh Allen, R3.26, 369.4 | McCaffrey, No. 1 overall (2020), 81.9 |
| Worst sits | 4 of the 15 worst sits ever | 0-8 start to 2025; scored 100+ in seven of them |
The Ten · No. 10 of 10
10JJ KERKSIECKTHE BEST-PLAYED DISASTER
In 2022 he went 7-7, took the fifth seed of six and reached the championship game, where he lost to another 7-7 team. Three 7-7 finishes since, sixth every year. $273 of FAAB in seven seasons — $39 a year, the lowest rate anyone has ever spent here — and not one trade proposal, ever.
| BEST | WORST | |
|---|---|---|
| Season | 7-7, runner-up (2022) | 2-12 (2023) — at 91.6% efficiency |
| Lineup year | 92.7% (2020) | 85.1% (2019) |
| Draft rounds | 48% in rounds 1–3, best in the league | 25% in rounds 4–7, worst in the league |
| First QB | round 11.7 on average | next-latest in the league is 8.0 |
THE ALUMNI WING
Eight men have drafted a team here and stopped. Between them: 82-106, one championship, five berths in fourteen seasons — and a startling share of this league's extremes, because when you leave, your number stops moving.
| Manager | Yrs | Reg W-L | PF | Best | Titles |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hank Sprow | 1 (2018) | 8-5 | 1,491.8 | 1st | 1 |
| Matt Pagan | 1 (2021) | 10-4 | 1,618.1 | 4th | 0 |
| Blake Jaros | 2 (2019–2020) | 13-13 | 2,797.7 | 6th | 0 |
| PJ Guignon | 2 (2017–2018) | 13-14 | 2,816.4 | 6th | 0 |
| Tim Ogg | 2 (2017–2018) | 12-15 | 2,657.8 | 4th | 0 |
| Nick Gregory | 1 (2017) | 6-8 | 1,139.7 | 10th | 0 |
| Hunter Kaufman | 4 (2017–2020) | 17-36 | 5,023.6 | 3rd | 0 |
| Taylor Hart | 1 (2021) | 3-11 | 1,543.8 | 7th | 0 |
- Matt — .714, the best career winning percentage anyone has.
- Blake — 84.7% career lineup efficiency, lowest on record, from the years before anybody here was checking.
- PJ — two seasons, no berths, and not one entry anywhere else in this book.
- Tim — the worst pick ever made, Le'Veon Bell at No. 3 in 2018, the year Bell never reported: 0.0. Longest losing streak too, 10.
- Nick — the 1.01 in 2017 was David Johnson, as it was everywhere; league-low 1,139.7. The 1.01 has still never won a title here.
- Hunter — 17-36, and the worst start ever made: Nick Foles, -1.98, in a league that lets a score go negative.
- Taylor — 3-11 with a positive point differential. Unluckiest season ever played.
THE GHOST: HANK SPROW, 2018
In August 2018 Hank joined a twelve-team league, named his team "Meet Jerkin Beef Boys," drafted ninth, went 8-5, backed into the last playoff seed, beat the 10-3 top seed with a perfect lineup, beat the 9-4 three seed, won the championship — and never logged in again. Eleven roster adds all season. Not eleven a week. Eleven. One trade proposal in the log, zero completed trades. He waited until the seventh round for Russell Wilson, then took Philip Rivers at 136; Rivers outscored him by 12.1 and started both playoff wins. Career efficiency 91.8%, best in league history. He is 1-for-1. Nobody else in nine years is even 1-for-3.
NINE SEASONS
The whole decade, one row at a time.
| Year | Champion | Beat | Score | The story |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2017 | Corey Allen | Steven Spaulding | 72.32–63.44 | No PPR; lowest title game ever by 40 |
| 2018 | Hank Sprow | Garrett Phelps | 113.52–102.98 | Last seed wins, winner vanishes |
| 2019 | Chase Carmichael | Steven Spaulding | 108.40–101.16 | Back from a year off, one-seed, done |
| 2020 | Alex Smith | Corey Allen | 123.82–123.02 | Corey had 1.50 of upside; lost by 0.80 |
| 2021 | Corey Allen | Chase Carmichael | 136.64–122.52 | Won on a quarterback he cut in week 14 |
| 2022 | Roscoe Goss | JJ Kerksieck | 132.68–103.00 | 7-7, six of six, the only .500 champion |
| 2023 | Spencer Jones | Hamilton Eubanks | 141.38–122.60 | Full PPR; won while benching Amari Cooper's 57.50 |
| 2024 | Alex Smith | Roscoe Goss | 183.18–181.46 | In by 8.3 points, won by 1.72 |
| 2025 | Corey Allen | Chase Carmichael | 160.42–96.54 | Most lopsided final ever; Chase's optimal was 99.44 |
THE RECORD BOOK
THE NINE TITLE GAMES
| Year | Champion | Score | Runner-up | Score | Margin | Seed | Record |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2017 | Corey Allen | 72.32 | Steven Spaulding | 63.44 | 8.88 | 2 | 9-5 |
| 2018 | Hank Sprow | 113.52 | Garrett Phelps | 102.98 | 10.54 | 4 of 4 | 8-5 |
| 2019 | Chase Carmichael | 108.40 | Steven Spaulding | 101.16 | 7.24 | 1 | 9-4 |
| 2020 | Alex Smith | 123.82 | Corey Allen | 123.02 | 0.80 | 1 | 10-3 |
| 2021 | Corey Allen | 136.64 | Chase Carmichael | 122.52 | 14.12 | 3 | 9-5 |
| 2022 | Roscoe Goss | 132.68 | JJ Kerksieck | 103.00 | 29.68 | 6 of 6 | 7-7 |
| 2023 | Spencer Jones | 141.38 | Hamilton Eubanks | 122.60 | 18.78 | 4 of 4 | 9-5 |
| 2024 | Alex Smith | 183.18 | Roscoe Goss | 181.46 | 1.72 | 4 of 4 | 8-6 |
| 2025 | Corey Allen | 160.42 | Chase Carmichael | 96.54 | 63.88 | 1 | 9-5 |
THE EXTREMES
| Highest weeks | Roscoe Goss 220.48 (2024 wk15) · Chase Carmichael 207.34, 206.52 |
| Lowest weeks | Spencer Jones 38.94 (2018 wk15) · Alex Smith 40.40 · Garrett Phelps 43.70 |
| Closest game | 0.08 — nothing else in 801 games is within 0.30 of it |
| Most benched, week | Garrett Phelps 68.66 (2025 wk4) — he won by 11.34 |
| Most benched, season / career | Roscoe Goss 421.8 (2023) / 2,382.8 |
| Highest benched player | Amari Cooper (Spencer Jones) 57.50, 2023 title game |
| Most perfect lineups | Steven Spaulding 18 — and no rings |
TRANSACTIONS
| Record | Holder | Figure |
|---|---|---|
| Most adds, career / season | Corey Allen | 678 / 134 (2022, a 4-10 year) |
| Trade proposals / documented trades | Corey Allen | 341 of 532 / 38 of 42 |
| Most failed transactions | Roscoe Goss | 150 — 36.9% of everything he tries |
| Largest winning FAAB bid | Patrick Necessary, De'Von Achane | $80 (2023 wk4), returned 109.7 |
| Worst big-money buy | Steven Spaulding, Ty Johnson | $76 for 4.3 points |
| Worst drop ever | Chase Carmichael, Dak Prescott (2023 wk2) | 239.92 points for other managers, never re-added |
Nine of the ten worst drops in league history are quarterbacks, and all ten happened in the first four weeks of a season. Counted honestly — points scored after the cut while off that roster — so Corey's 2022 Burrow cut misses the list; he re-added him three days later. ESPN's trade counters imply roughly 67 in nine years; the log documents 42, Corey is party to 38, and the other ~25 aren't resolvable.
Elijah Mitchell. Corey paid $70 for him in week 2 of 2021 — 70% of a season's FAAB — and got 13.5 points in four weeks. He never cut him: Mitchell went to Garrett in the week-6 Burrow trade and scored 117.1 the rest of the way.
THE CANCELLED GAME
Week 17 of 2022 was championship week here; Bills–Bengals was abandoned after Damar Hamlin went into cardiac arrest and never resumed. Nine started players scored exactly 0.00 and 122.09 points of projection vanished, including Ja'Marr Chase in JJ's championship lineup. Every "worst start" record excludes those nine, permanently.
WHAT'S BROKEN
The league as it stands for 2026: 12 teams, a 14-week regular season, 4 playoff spots, 15-man rosters with 6 bench, starting QB/RB/RB/WR/WR/TE/FLEX/D-ST/K, $100 FAAB, snake draft, no keepers.
What follows is an argument against three lines of it. Six settings were audited against the league's own game logs. Three are indefensible.
Fifteen percent of your score is a coin flip. Over 2023–2025 the starting kicker averaged 8.68 points (6.8% of a team's score), the starting D/ST 10.89 (8.6%), and split by odd and even weeks neither carries over at all. They are not high-variance positions. They are coin flips wearing jerseys. Re-run all 210 matchups without them and 25 (11.9%) change winner; kicker alone flips 13. 40.5% of started TE weeks and 30.0% of started WR weeks scored below the average kicker week.
The quarterback has been deleted. The 2023 overhaul handed QBs three new bonuses and they went down 1.6% while RBs rose 21.3%, WRs 28.9%, TEs 31.9%. Benched quarterbacks scored within a point of started ones, and a median of 15 are rostered out of 32 NFL starters.
Four playoff spots out of twelve is indefensible. Points-per-game explains only 60% of where a team finishes; the rest is your schedule. Re-seed by all-play record and 8 of 44 berths (18.2%) went to a team a full round-robin would have excluded. The 2025 receipt: Patrick, 1,966.9 points, most in the league by 84, 7-7, home.
THE THREE CHANGES I AM PROPOSING
Proposals, not policy. Nothing here changes unless the league votes it in.
1. Six playoff teams, byes for seeds 1–2, weeks 15–17. Six of twelve is 50%, the format this league already ran from 2019 to 2022. Seeds 3–6 play week 15, seeds 1–2 enter week 16, final in week 17. You are currently leaving week 17 unused. Costs nothing.
2. Kicker slot → SUPERFLEX. One roster edit solves the two worst problems at once. It removes 6.8% of scoring with no detectable carry-over between halves of a season, and a 12-team superflex needs up to 24 quarterbacks from a pool where half the NFL's starters go unowned — which turns the cheapest position here into the most contested one on draft day. A second FLEX does not work: the average benched RB/WR/TE in 2023–2025 scored 7.06 points.
3. Halve the D/ST points-allowed ladder. 8.6% of scoring, no more week-to-week signal than the kicker, and a 21-point swing between the best and worst tier on an outcome the defense controls maybe a third of. Proposal: 0 = 10, 1-6 = 7, 7-13 = 5, 14-17 = 3, 18-21 = 1, 22-27 = 0, 28-34 = -1, 35-45 = -2, 46+ = -3. Same shape, half the swing; sacks, turnovers and touchdowns become the larger share, which is the point.
Keep: the FAAB rules, the snake draft, no keepers, zero veto votes. Bring back the two IR slots — 32.9% of bench player-weeks in 2023–2025 produced exactly 0.0 points. Do not expand the bench past six.
THE OP-ED
THE TROPHY IS A RAFFLE PRIZE, AND WE ALL KNOW IT
By COREY F. ALLEN, Executive Editor, Doo Doo Sports
December 2020. Championship game. Corey submits nine players, eight of them the optimal choice, with 1.50 points of upside on his entire fourteen-man roster. He loses by 0.80. The man who beat him left 11.40 on his own bench, eight times as much waste, and walked off with the trophy.
That is not a championship. That is a raffle with extra steps.
The lowest seed in the field has won four of the nine championships. The top seed is 3-6 all-time; first-round byes went 3-5 in the six-team era. And before anybody says I'm cherry-picking, here are all eight championship games with lineup data — both sides, points left unplayed.
| Year | Champion | Left | Runner-up | Left |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2018 | Hank Sprow | 21.56 | Garrett Phelps | 0.10 |
| 2019 | Chase Carmichael | 28.46 | Steven Spaulding | 20.20 |
| 2020 | Alex Smith | 11.40 | Corey Allen | 1.50 |
| 2021 | Corey Allen | 34.40 | Chase Carmichael | 4.10 |
| 2022 | Roscoe Goss | 18.30 | JJ Kerksieck | 11.90 |
| 2023 | Spencer Jones | 49.00 | Hamilton Eubanks | 27.70 |
| 2024 | Alex Smith | 0.50 | Roscoe Goss | 31.46 |
| 2025 | Corey Allen | 48.36 | Chase Carmichael | 2.90 |
In seven of the eight, the champion left more points on his bench than the man he beat. The trophy here has a documented, decade-long preference for the guy who paid less attention. The purest expression isn't even a final: 2025 semifinal, Steven submits a lineup with zero points benched and loses by 1.30. The following week Corey, the man who beat him, wins the championship with 48.36 on his bench.
Nobody here is bad at this; Corey is 75-48 and that is real. But this league has built a beautiful, meticulous, fourteen-week instrument for measuring who the best manager is. Then it throws the reading in the garbage and picks a name out of a hat. Fix the format. Six teams, byes for the top two, use week 17 — it's sitting right there, empty. Kill the kicker.
Until then, congratulations to the 2026 champion, whoever the hell you turn out to be. You didn't earn it. You survived it.
25 NAMES FOR 2026
Twenty-five candidates, with the receipt for each. Vote in the group chat.
THE SHORTLIST
1. COACH REID AIN'T GOING OUT LIKE THIS — verbatim, on why Andy Reid isn't retiring after 6-11.
2. NOBODY FILED THE PAPERWORK — the tush push survived because no team submitted a ban proposal.
3. MICAH PARSONS' SEARCH HISTORY — held out, traded to Green Bay, then said the quiet part out loud.
4. $48M NOT TO PLAY HERE — Jets dead money for Rodgers (a Steeler) and Fields (a Chief).
5. CONTINGENT UPON A PHYSICAL — Baltimore rescinded the Crosby trade, leaving Vegas a $35.8M cap hit.
6. I'VE GOT A TEXT — the Love Island catchphrase; also every waiver alert at 11pm Tuesday.
THE REST
7. PRENUP AND A PROVE-IT DEAL — Kelce, $12M, one year.
8. SAM DARNOLD, SUPER BOWL CHAMPION — four teams quit; he won LX.
9. ABOVE THE MENDOZA LINE — 1.01, $57M, behind Cousins.
10. ANDREW BERRY SURVIVED AGAIN — fired the coach, kept the GM.
11. TWO FIRSTS AND A JARED VERSE — the whole return for a DPOY.
12. AARON RODGERS' FOURTH FAREWELL TOUR — $25M, Pittsburgh, again.
13. KYLER MURRAY'S VETERAN MINIMUM — Arizona ate $36.8M.
14. MARVIN HARRISON JR.'S HANDS — two years of drops.
15. PROJECT HAIL MARY — the film; also week 17.
16. THE DANCE OF THE DRAFT PICKS — a war over who's owed the throne.
17. YES, COACH. — The Bear, one word swapped.
18. THE SEASON NOBODY ASKED FOR — Ted Lasso came back.
19. FLORALS? FOR FALL? GROUNDBREAKING. — aimed at your draft.
20. THE DRAKE CURSE, VOL. 3 — three albums, one week.
21. THIS IS THE WAY (TO 4-13) — the creed as a rebuild.
22. CRISP SEASON — two league names merged.
23. THE AIR REMAINS CRISP — the joke is the minimal effort.
24. THE GOOD BOYS GO 6-11 — 2020 league name, 2025 Chiefs.
25. WHERE THE AIR IS THIN — the line, inverted.
Deliberately left off: Deshaun Watson, Mahomes' knee, Rashee Rice's legal situation. #5 survives because the target is Baltimore's front office, not a knee.
Compiled August 2026 from the league archive. Decisions get incinerated here, people do not. Corrections to the editor, who will publish them, grudgingly.